The theme of loss has arisen in many different aspects of life recently, and it’s not something widely talked about. It’s such a challenging experience for us to grasp because it means letting go of the reality we currently have in order to make room for a new one, which can be incredibly unsettling and scary. We often think of loss in terms of death, but there is also loss embedded within every change we go through, both negative and positive.

Different Types of Loss

We don’t just lose people we love; we lose ideas we had about what our future would look like. We lose aspects of our identity. We lose familiarity and comfort and the known. We lose pieces of who we once were in order to become who we are. We lose structure and routines and patterns. We lose parts of ourselves.

The Gift of Desperation

While loss is painful and often feels impossible to grasp, it is also a sort of propellant. Loss forces us to shift what we thought we knew, which creates space to integrate new pieces of the world and of ourselves. Loss gives us the opportunity to reckon with our values and beliefs in order to live more intentionally and authentically. Loss reminds us of what truly matters amidst the chaos and confusion. Loss amplifies love in a thousand different ways. Loss inspires us to be found. The gift of desperation provides us with the opportunity to do whatever it is that is necessary to change our lives.

Practice Self-Compassion

If you are in the middle of loss and unsure of when the “other side” will come, I invite you to be kind to yourself – to go easy on yourself in this moment, practice self-compassion. I encourage you to ground in mindfulness, and give yourself permission to be exactly where you are, exactly as you are. Loss tends to warp time, so practicing presence is immensely grounding.

It Gets Better

I want to remind you that in the midst of loss, it’s okay to not be okay, and one day soon, you will find that you feel more okay than yesterday. Until then, take care, breathe, and remember that you are not alone. Maybe it’s not about getting to a certain place or timeline of healing; maybe it’s about treating ourselves gently in the process, and knowing we’ll feel better in some moments, and savoring those moments as they come; they will come.